HelluvaGirl

This is not a diary any more

Tag: life

Perfect Moment

Do you remember this? She turns up the volume. *** The funeral home is full of familiar faces. People looking around, recognising each other, coming up and speaking in low voices. One of the girls, his friend’s wife, stands in front of me and says: There was a woman. He did this because of her. It […]

Visions

Who can tell whether we’re alive or dead? Either way, we live in the heaven or hell of our choosing. I live in my almost heaven with the elements of purgatory. They were the entrance fee. 

Growing Old Is the New Black

I’ve never expected to feel this way, but now that I look in the mirror and see my face growing old, all the wrinkles and other signs of time, feelings and inner fights, I worry not.

My Heaven Is a Strange Place

This is how I live. This is how I love. This is mine. *** Before his death, my Grandfather would spend his days lying in bed. Sometimes, I’d come into his room, sit beside and watch his face. The hazy look, wandering some distant terrains, as he was already on his way. I felt he could tell […]

This Is How

Your words. The ones I wanted to hear. The ones I was meaning to say to you. Not to write – I thought some of them ought to be said looking into the eyes before they were written in letters. I thought if this superstition was disregarded, the higher powers would close the roads that lead us to each […]

Twilight

Work is overwhelming. Must be a pre-spring reboot that I crash at 7.30 pm. Sleep becomes medicine. Work is split into the most belated tasks to be ticked off. I dream the office at nights. A cigarette at lunch time, looking at a single spot at the entrance. Back to the mill. Car needs maintenance but […]

Both Sides Now

We Are All Going to Die

There was light music in the background. People were talking, trying to get a drink, watching others, going to the loo, flirting. I was standing next to Girlfriend as we both were silent for a while. She is someone I can afford to be silent with. And then time started rolling in a funny way. It […]

Re Purpose in Life

When I thought I found my purpose in life, i.e. to be happy, the essence of this concept in my mind included being in harmony with the world; feeling positive and grateful for everything I have been given by God and people; not only being the glass full to the top – but being a fountain. I think I […]

Night Flight. Version 2

You are with me wherever I travel. You are in me. Every sight I discover is drenched in your presence as if you were looking at things my eyes and experiencing together.

Fall Back

Don’t you love the chaotic rave of instruments? It’s so representative of life: the leading motive and the windy mess swaying around it. Sometimes the noise gets louder than anything else but the order in the chaos is never absent.