The Night Before Last Night. Silence

by HelluvaGirl

The weather was perfect. Clear -2, full moon, a gazillion of stars and serenity like nowhere else. I looked above at Ursa Major and other constellations. He stopped to type something on his phone.

i can show you the little one

He pointed to the stars, trying to show me where to look exactly. After several attempts he growled impatiently because it was difficult to spot the Little Bear. I put my hand on his shoulder. It’s ok! We laughed. I watched him as he found some pebbles, placed them on the path in the pattern of the Great Bear and showed me the location of the Little one. We glanced up again. He looked at me, shook his head and smiled. Don’t see it, right? I nodded for I do, looking at him, beaming. Couldn’t see shit but he was trying so beautifully 🙂

We went on to catch up with the group.

I heard him sniffling so I took out a napkin from my pocket and stretched out to him.

There are so many ways to show emotion when you are deprived of words. The gratitude and appreciation I saw on his face as he took the napkin, giving out the sigh of relief…

I looked at my watch after a while. His one hour was over and I had one more left. I showed him the time. He looked at me, smiled and whisked his hand. Doesn’t matter, let’s go on with it.

As I was walking, I waited to get tired, whiney and out of control, expecting those demons to show up as soon as my body would start suffering. The truth is, I never lost control or started acting out. Maybe because after the 14 kilometres we walked I lacked 10 more; maybe a more challenging landscape, like hills or getting soaked in a marsh would have opened me up, I don’t know.

Instead, the farther I walked, the better I felt. My body was warm from the movement. I wasn’t hungry. The back hurt less. The nature around me provoked the sense of becoming somehow… clean on the inside. As if the sun was shining in the middle of my night.

I felt completely happy, in that undisturbed way I only experience in rare dreams of the far-away me.

When we returned and it was time for me to speak, he looked at his watch and said:

Aaand congratulations! Now, think well what your first words are going to be.

I looked up and said:

Thank you.