Nothing Inside

by HelluvaGirl

Do you think anything may be left inside?

I… I don’t know. This has never happened to me. I think you should see your doctor. Why haven’t you, by the way?

I forgot. I know how ridiculously this sounds but it just happened that morning, I looked at the unfamiliar membrane-like tissue for a while and then there was plenty of blood. And that was it. I never recalled it for a second before today. I searched for information and, well, the photos suggested… I just didn’t feel anything, you know? Like it was nothing. No physical symptoms, no emotional context. I’ve always imagined it being so dramatic and traumatising… I don’t even know why I remembered it. My mind is now looking for appropriate emotions to attach to this… but there aren’t any. And it’s a bit disturbing, you know? I mean I have cried listening to my girlfriends tell their stories.

Just see your doctor.

What if I don’t? What if I continue as if nothing happened?

So you don’t care or you don’t want to care? Don’t be crazy, this could have consequences. You have to go see your doctor.

Ok. Just… you know, when I got pregnant with my first, I knew it the moment she was conceived. I knew she would be a girl, too. I thought I’d always know.