HelluvaGirl

The air was warm and dusk. The vibration under her belly-button resonated with the humming in the air.

She walked the street without looking around. She could see the dark tree foliage and the rest of the things above without moving her sight or lifting her head. The trees stood huge and silent. They were her allies, just like the air and the pavement blocks under her feet, and there was not a single human in sight.

She felt power growing in her body. All she had to do was concentrate that vibration into one tiny still spot…

God, take it away if I’m unworthy, and make it stronger if I’m doing the right thing.

***

The sun was scorching in an amphitheater onto the crowd that was waiting for something. The music was playing, too.

She sat among the people. An elegantly dressed and made up black-haired woman was sitting next to her. The woman had a grip of her arm and was trying to bite through the light blue vein at the tenderness of the inner elbow. Like an animal satisfying its hunger. She allowed this indifferently until the black exotic femme bit through the second time. She pulled back.

Lotta, I’ve had enough! I’m thirsty, I’m thirsty… Stop it.

On the inner side of the elbow, there were two deep and narrow holes, and not a trace of blood.

***

There was no light in the room. She was sitting on a writing table without a move. The darkness was vibrating. Something was about to happen. She knew. She waited.

***

A tall white building stood at the crossroad of two narrow streets. It was a bank with a door like a mirror.

She was sitting under the entrance stairs in the dark. A small triangle-shaped opening showed pavement: grey and sinking in the fogs of her consciousness…

She sat on the ground, legs crossed. She could physically sense the vibration in the air growing strong. She felt the power build up and exit the limits of her body, electrify the surrounding air, drench it in energy which could create or destroy, she couldn’t tell just yet.

She couldn’t feel the ground any more. The power inside was growing, expanding, humming…

Then somewhere on the right, at the corner of her eye, she saw a giant butterfly swinging its pastel and gold wings.

A noise from the street reached her ear. Through the triangle-shaped hole she saw fire. As the huge flames were raging outside, a fearful thought found her floating in the darkness:

I’ll be punished for this…

And so she started repeating:

God, take it away if I’m unworthy, and make it stronger if I’m doing the right thing…

***

November 1999.