The River And the Cloud

by HelluvaGirl

Whenever there’s a day of silence between us, I fall into the water of the river Goodbye.

I’m thinking you resigned. You got tired and gave up. You decided to stick to your path and not challenge the slim chance of you and me becoming us. This is crazy after all, and life tends to embrace us with its firm reality. This is it. We have to enter past tense and write a book or something. Or jump into a random distraction to just keep the mind busy. 

Whenever there are two days of silence between us, I float on the cloud of Relief.

I’m thinking we’re fading away. It’s too likely to not happen. I know we will never forget but it is not enough to stay. So we grow apart. There’s a holiday and I’ll be away. There’s an array of your commitments and you’ll be just too busy. That happens to people who are even closer than us, who share way more – and they fade away. It’s probably for the best – I so much want less of a dream and more of a life. It will be healthier for me to accept what’s available instead of transcending between the Earth and the Moon.

But then you text me on your way home after a long day and it appears you’ve just been very busy. Or you unexpectedly stay in touch every single day that I’m away because you miss talking. Or the sound of your message wakes me up in the middle of the night and I respond with a sleepy smile and the kind of softness that I’m only capable of displaying when awoken to something better than a dream…

And everything lights up. And a stone slides off my chest. And I feel like a small girl who’s just received a beautiful gift on a casual day.

Are there really people closer than us?