by HelluvaGirl


I’ve finished my phone call outside the business centre when he passed by. Looked a bit more slouchy and the dark hair had silverish highlights in places. There was still that Gypsy playfulness about the face, just like 10 years ago.

He stopped and looked at me hesitatingly.


He lifted his eyebrows and there was a spark of curiosity in his eyes.

You obviously don’t remember me but my name is Kristina. We met… many years ago.

I think the word is taken aback.

Oh, yes… I remember your face now.

He stretched out his hand.

Surprising to see you here – I’m always hanging around – How’s your business going? – Oh I sold that one to the Germans; now starting another company. What do you do? – I work here – Oh! – It’s quite unbelievable – Yeah, very unexpected

I was scanning his white shirt and brown suede blazer. He was examining me simultaneously. Did he notice the wrinkles? And that I weighed 12 kilos less? What was he thinking? Oh right, he was taken aback.

I could feel my legs shaking. However, collected all the unrealised acting talent to look cool and poised.

To get away, I recited a couple of polite phrases that sounded like glass, and we had that awkward moment when you say good bye and go to the same direction. He let me into the building first and went to the restaurant while I ascended to my office.

And then the small things started coming back as I sat at my desk.

We met at the time I didn’t have a single tattoo but made dating timetables. I remembered how the man who introduced us nearly broke the Radisson windows when he saw us having coffee together.

He gave me peonies and turquoise bracelets. He was possessive and artsy – he’d played in a band and made me fall in love with Eva Cassidy. He bought the CD with me on the cover when we incidentally saw it in the music shop and laughed about it.

We spent a couple of nights at a hotel just lying there, looking at each other. I cut him off completely when he said he wanted to leave his wife and three kids because he’d never felt that way.

I got scared of not being ready to handle it.

I thought about it today and smiled: If I could advise the 10-year younger me, I’d just say that I should’ve worried less. The leaving part doesn’t happen fast. Or doesn’t happen, full stop.

I was an easy-going girl who took love way too seriously.