On Aggressive People

by HelluvaGirl

I have a serious question to myself: why do I run into aggressive and/or defensive people lately?

Situations pop up which are frustrating because they are absurd. I feel like I don’t deserve them, hence frustrating. Out of the blue, hence absurd.

I know that something inside me invites those people, their attitudes and actions to get in my face, and I want to know what it is.

Am I in for a fight? Spoke to the Witch of Eastwick today (the one who didn’t oversleep the brunch). Told her that I want to argue with people, and those I invite to an argument are the ones I respect, consider equal to counter-argue and this way I want to learn, to find a new truth, to potentially have my mind changed. It is like a wrestling game to me. I love a good argument. Well, more like a spiced-up discussion, but still.

Is it my subconscious aggression? Do those people mirror what’s inside of me? The attraction of qualities… Then I must be a mess!

To tell the truth, they are all men. Are they fingers of God pointing at my idealism and pride? Could be. I have been feeling like a man and a woman for a while after all. Maybe I’m on a wrong track? Perhaps I am too proud believing I don’t need anyone or am better than they all? Men. Is it a coincidence that those I love and respect are far away?

Am I a killer on the subconscious level? They sense it and start fighting back or defend themselves…

What do I do? How do I change? Do I start by saying thank you to each of them?