The Way I Go

by HelluvaGirl

To cut the long story short, I’m kinda having strong issues as to who the hell I am this year, and though I’m quite sure everyone at some point has those existential mind-clusterfucks every now and then, I suspect it’s just me who’s turned it into a regular stocktaking. Well, you’ve heard about snakes which slough their old skin from time to time – not sure about the frequency, lack of zoological knowledge – but how often do you think is normal? To the extent of feeling as a totally different person, I mean?

My get-rid-of-people-in-your-life campaign has faced an overwhelming success. I am alone, literally, and wondering if it affects my development significantly. Do you think? How far can a social creature go in terms of personal development without other social creatures, as catalysts? I’m kinda good, there’s lots of silence now.

Hey, have you ever imagined what would happen if you didn’t utter a word for a whole day? None, wherever you went, whomever you encountered 🙂 Amazing! I’m sure one’d start in fact hearing things happening around.

Anyway, I wouldn’t speak to the majority of the population as a child, with several exceptions. Same shit, man. Turning autistic. Turning three-years old.

What I’m trying to get at rather inarticulately, is that as long as I’d skipped all the seriousness of life I had this illusion of being aware of the way things go, and now… Now I feel like this fuckin’ baloon from Norah’s song, except there’s no happy ending after the “you appeared” happens.

Yeah, pretty much for my life after.