HelluvaGirl

This is not a diary any more

Tag: longing

Half the World Away

Snow on the Sahara

Since I was a teenager, this song would arise very strong emotive associations which I’ve never tried to put into words before. Tearing longing; feelings that outlast relationships or people, tragedies or impossibility; being left alone without a choice but to love… Have you ever experienced strong feelings that were sort of… not yours?

Building vs. State of Mind

There’s a meadow in front of my living room window. A large green area separating my block of flats and a church. I can see the white cross on its rooftop whenever I raise my eyes from the dining table or smoke on the balcony, ever negotiating with my demons. One Sunday in summer I woke up […]

Numerical Paradox

Like every other time I’ve said I would never, I often feel I’m the one who wants you more. As soon as I withdraw, step back, go away, I almost expect us to move on with our lives because the circumstances overall seem to brilliantly conspire against us.

On Avoiding the Choice and the Change

It’s like they say: life begins when you get fired, miss your bus or have insomnia.

Rather Be

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RO6OR8y6iv0

On the Eyes Wide Shut

I had a dream once. I saw an ocean and a sky of supernatural colours, resembling those of a sunset on the Earth, only they were bright orange, red, yellow and gold, and also blue and purple in places. It was hard to tell the sea and the sky apart as the sight was pulsing […]