Making, Giving, Losing Time
by HelluvaGirl
I choose reality over fantasy, methodically performing acts that those next to me can perceive as involvement, though I cannot be sure if my patience will last another day or whether I will see any point the day after tomorrow.
I imitate as if I were an alien learning the ways they get by here. I realise everything is so far from what I am, what I've come to know, what I can do, but I take the grip of substitutes as if they were my lifeline.
As soon as I'm left alone, I dive into the signs, the echo, the vague proof of the non-existent, as a dancer briskly changing her outfit backstage.
The hunger for the make-believe is overtaking, but if I multiply the moments of here and now, here being emphasised, they might just fill up all the spaces of time.
Time flies next to you.I lift my eyes, smile amicably and silently think that life has never seemed as unnecessarily long.