HelluvaGirl

I choose reality over fantasy, methodically performing acts that those next to me can perceive as involvement, though I cannot be sure if my patience will last another day or whether I will see any point the day after tomorrow. I imitate as if I were an alien learning the ways they get by here. I realise everything is so far from what I am, what I've come to know, what I can do, but I take the grip of substitutes as if they were my lifeline. As soon as I'm left alone, I dive into the signs, the echo, the vague proof of the non-existent, as a dancer briskly changing her outfit backstage. The hunger for the make-believe is overtaking, but if I multiply the moments of here and now, here being emphasised, they might just fill up all the spaces of time.

Time flies next to you.

I lift my eyes, smile amicably and silently think that life has never seemed as unnecessarily long.