On the Right Thing

by HelluvaGirl

The narcissistic pleasure of doing the right thing. I don't have much practice in that; would do what I wanted most of my life, not what was considered right. Once, my classmate asked me: "Why do you do this to people?" There was something about boys, I think. I sincerely did not understand what she meant. And I didn't ask. I feel somewhat melancholic, having overruled my own wishes and selfish intentions with a morally correct choice. The narcissistic pleasure of doing the right thing. Not much else. A relief, perhaps, that I avoided a risky adventure with the implication of a grave price to pay. The fight of common sense and feelings. Common sense wins, feelings go to the hell of the unrequited, where they exist for a long long time and transform into fantasies of another version of life as a result of a different choice. Come to think of it, I've been here. I have made the right choice, right before I changed my mind and did the wrong thing - and never regretted. Don't I just love my life.