HelluvaGirl

This is not a diary any more

Iron Sky

Looking Too Closely

My soundtrack to everything there is; everything there isn’t.

How do you fool your blood? How do you pretend something doesn’t matter?

I want to go missing in my secret catacombs.

I want to leave again and become someone else.

Fever

We’re not on the same page. In fact, we are two different books at the remotest corners of a huge library.

Read the rest of this entry »

On the Garden with Missing Walls. On the Last One and the Ones That Will Follow

My heart used to be like a garden with sharp walls of pride and arrogance. For self-preservation purposes mostly, but that’s definitely something very noticeable when approached.

When we met, it surely didn’t feel like a wrecking ball. Nothing as brutal and destructive, or loud. Because that way, I would have noticed.

This morning after barely sleeping in a curled-up motionless pose for a few hours, after an attempt to finalise something crown on, with my macho buddies Rationality, Logic and Sarcasm, I see there are no walls around that garden any more. Just a hint of an old construction barely above the ground in places. But not more.

Read the rest of this entry »

On Opportunity Missed

Are you going to the ceremony?

No.

Why?

Have work to do. He seemed quite agitated weeks before it, don’t you think?

Yes, I think he was.

People tend to be so excited about their first weddings…

…I muse playing with my hair like I do when lost in thoughts, then suddenly raise my eyes to meet those of someone I’ve been helping with an engagement ring lately…

I truly must use the opportunity to shut up whenever one presents itself :(

 

Once Upon a Dream

The Japanese Club

1 (1)

2 (1)

3 (1)

Toujours

:)

…and then someone on Twitter starts following me, whose profile says

I JUST WANT A BOY TO LIKE ME AND THINK I AM PRETTY AND WANT TO KISS ME AND GO TO CONCERTS WITH ME AND GO CAMPING AND WATCH THE STARS

I start thinking how much I envy her limits but then slowly arrive at understanding there is a dimension where we are no different at all.

The Centre of the World

I have been overestimating the amount of time I have.

We are born, we die. And though I’ve been approaching the simplicity and the marvel of the notion in my own pace since childhood, I still tend to get lost in distractions.

Read the rest of this entry »