HelluvaGirl

This is not a diary any more

Yours

The Tale of the Wall

There was a planet on the outskirts of the Universe, inhabited by winds who liked to play with vast oceans and to caress magnificent volcanos asleep.

A man lived on that planet, who’s beauty was immense and overtaking as the light and splendour of the Sun.

There lived a woman on that planet, whose slow and sensuous abidance emanated balmy Moon shine wherever she went.

Without the knowledge of it, they walked their planet for ages, nearing each other, and there was an imminent point in their voyage where they would come to meet.

Read the rest of this entry »

Redirect Inoperative

All of us are shells: different faces, names, appearances… But inside, we are all the same.

I used to be quite good at redirecting feelings from one shell to another.

Another thing I gave up. Seem to be brilliantly losing some of my firmly ingrained skills.

I guess this is how it is now.

 

 

Jealous

I totally dig this mustard sweater on dark skin.

Building vs. State of Mind

There’s a meadow in front of my living room window. A large green area separating my block of flats and a church.

I can see the white cross on its rooftop whenever I raise my eyes from the dining table or smoke on the balcony, ever negotiating with my demons.

One Sunday in summer I woke up and heard something piercing the air outside the drawn curtains of the bedroom. Read the rest of this entry »

Full Stops Are Bull

In the course of unfavourable events, a full stop is a solution required by a person who is unable to endure heartache.

It only makes sense why there have been so many full stops in my relationships and endeavours so far.

On one hand, I want to make the “right” decisions: be decent, non-interfering and honest; on the other – shutting myself out from something or someone, causing me to see that life is not primarily about the realisation of my personal wishes, does not stimulate my development.

So what do I do now?  Read the rest of this entry »

Down in the Well

I comb my mind, looking for the manifestations of lethal attachments having consumed me entirely, and I let everything go, breathing it out.

I give myself lengthy lectures on my personal wishes being secondary, whilst the destined course of events, the divine plan primary and definitely not something to try and eliminate with a sack of explosives when the head fails to break the wall. Read the rest of this entry »

Love vs. Candy

I believe it is pretty difficult for many to tell Love from a delicious mash of desire, pleasure and fantasy. Sometimes we stick to the make-believe so much that we tear ourselves apart chasing an illusion, a reflection of our own ego. We choose to be tortured by a deformed concept that has nothing to do with the sustainable peace, the potential of which is a given. The Love we are born from and return to when we die is something that can never be exhausted or disrupted.

Unless, of course, we refuse to cultivate it making use of every occasion, and by occasion I mean the loss of our personal interest against the God’s plan, the universal flow or whatever one prefers to call it. We show our true selves only when we can’t have it our way.  Read the rest of this entry »

Mind the Gap

Dreams can suddenly become so vivid after a full stop.

It was a long and noisy travel in search of something vague, until finally me, mother and sister found ourselves in a luxurious Malibu resort. Read the rest of this entry »

Compliments

Here’s the Teacher’s opinion on compliments men and women ought to tell each other, which I found quite peculiar:

A woman tells a man he’s strong and smart and how brilliantly he understands everything – because he is stimulated towards those things when she tells him.

A man tells a woman she is sexy and beautiful – because her purpose is giving birth, and feeling sexual she is more willing and happy to serve that purpose.  Read the rest of this entry »